Archive for the ‘Sarcasm @ it’s best!’ Category

Fantasy Spotlight!

December 13th, 2011

So, I was checking my Facebook page this morning (as per usual) when I ran across something spectacular! I know what you are thinking… “There was something spectacular on Facebook?” to which I say yes! My dear friend (and I say dear because he has sworn his allegiance to me) Daniel Arenson completed his new book. *Stands up and claps* Now…if you are a fantasy fan and have never had the chance to read any of Daniel’s work #1. Shame on you! and #2 I feel I must rectify this travesty immediately. So in keeping with my overall theme of “Keeping shit books away from the masses” I thought I would give you a little peek at something worth your time.  That’s right ladies and gents…it’s EXCERPT TIME! *throws confetti* Now, I know this is book 3 in his “Song of Dragons” series, but well, hell…if nothing else, this should sell you on the first 2.

 

 What is it all about?

 

War has ravaged the world. Cities lie crumbled. Forests smolder. The crows feast.

In the ruins, Requiem’s last dragons lick their wounds and mourn a death among them. But they will not have long to grieve. From the ashes, a new enemy arises, one more horrible than any before.

His soldiers dead, the tyrant Dies Irae collects severed limbs, heads, and torsos. He sews them into rotting, maggoty mimics of life. With dark magic, he animates his creations… and sends them hunting.

The mimics live to kill. They do not sleep. They feel no pain. They never stop hunting. Worst of all, they undo all magic around them. When mimics are near, Requiem’s survivors cannot become dragons… and must fight as humans.

Without their greatest gift, how can Requiem’s children survive?

 

The Excerpt!

 

The three boys swaggered down the streets, arms pumping, eyes daring beggars, urchins, and other survivors to stare back. The dragons had left this city; so had the nightshades. In the ruins after the war, new lords arose. The Rot Gang ruled now.

“Slim pickings today,” said Arms. The wiry, toothless boy was seventeen. He crossed the arms he was named for—arms long and hairy as an ape’s.  “We’ve been searching this cesspool all morning. These streets are clean.”

Teeth glowered at him. “Shut your mouth, Arms,” he said. With a long, loud noise like a saw, he hawked and spat. The glob landed at Arms’s feet and bubbled.

Arms glowered back, spat too, and muttered.

The third Rot Gang boy—a gangly youth named Legs—watched and smirked. Drool dripped from his heavy lips. He towered seven feet tall, most of his height in his stilt-like legs. He was dumb, even dumber than Arms, and useless in a fight. Teeth kept him around because, well, Legs made him look normal. So what if my teeth are pointed like an animal’s? Around Legs, nobody notices.

“You like that, freak?” Teeth asked him.  “You like me yelling at old Arms here?”

Legs guffawed, drooled, and scratched his head. He had a proper name, though Teeth didn’t know it. He didn’t care. Freaks didn’t deserve proper names.

“Yeah I like Arms angry, I do,” said Legs. “Makes me laugh, his little eyes, all buggy like so.” He brayed laughter.

Arms turned red. His eyes did bulge when angry. He trundled toward Legs and punched his face.  The lanky boy screamed. Tears welled up in his eyes. He swiped at Arms, but the wiry youth dodged the blow.

Teeth spat again. “Useless in a fight, you freak,” he said to Legs. “I don’t know why I keep you around. Come on, break it up! You want to eat tonight? Let’s keep looking. You too, Arms. There are bodies left in this city. We’ll find them. And if we can’t, we’ll make our own.”

Legs was crying and Arms muttering. Teeth snarled, pushed them forward, and the Rot Gang kept moving down the street. Blood dripped from Legs’s nose, leaving a trail of red dots.

Confutatis lay in ruins. Fallen bricks, shattered statues, and broken arrows covered the city. The nightshades had done their work well; the dragons had finished it.  You could go days without seeing a soldier, priest, or guard, but you always saw urchins. They huddled behind smashed statues, inside makeshift hovels, or simply under tattered blankets. When they saw the Rot Gang, they cowered and hid. Teeth smirked as he swaggered by the poor souls. On the first week after the dragons, when survivors were claiming their pockets of ruin, many children had challenged him, adults too. His sharpened teeth had bitten, severing fingers, ears, noses. One boy, he remembered, had tried to steal a chicken from him; Teeth had bashed his head with a rock, again and again, until he saw brains spill. The memory boiled his blood and stirred his loins. He missed killing.

Legs guffawed and pointed. “Hey boss, look here, you see them, little ones, hey.”  He snickered and wiped his nose, smearing blood and mucus across his face.

Teeth stared.  He saw them.  A gaggle of urchins—little girls, eight or nine years old by the look of them. They hid behind a fallen statue of Dies Irae. One cradled a dog in her arms. When they saw the Rot Gang, the girls froze. Then they began to flee.

“Catch them,” Teeth commanded.

Arms and Legs took off, the former lumbering like an ape, the latter quick as a horse. Teeth stood and watched. Three girls disappeared into a maze of fallen columns.  Arms hit one girl with a rock, knocking her down. Legs grabbed the girl with the dog.

“Bring her here,” Teeth said.

The girl was kicking and screaming, but Legs held her tight. Arms approached with his own catch. He held his girl in his arms; she was unconscious, maybe dead.

“Let go, help, help!” The girl in Legs’s grasp was panting, face red. Her dog shivered in her grasp.

Teeth stepped forward. He snatched the dog from the girl. He clutched it by the neck, squeezed, and held it out.

“You want your dog back, you little whore?” he said. His blood boiled. A smile twisted his lips. The mutt was squirming and squealing, but powerless to escape.

The girl nodded. “Give him back. Let go!”

Teeth slammed the dog against the ground. It whimpered. Teeth kicked it hard, and it flew toward Arms. The apelike boy laughed, and kicked it back, and blood splattered the cobblestones.

“Kick dog!” Legs said. “Kick dog, I want to play it.”

The girl screamed and wept as they played. Finally Teeth grew bored. The dog was no longer squealing, and the game was no longer fun.

“Enough,” he said. “We’ve come seeking bodies, not whiny little whores. Legs, let her go.”

The gangly boy dropped the girl. Her knees hit the cobblestones, and her skin tore, but she seemed not to notice. She raced forward, lifted her dead dog, and cradled it.

Teeth laughed.  “You idiot. The damn thing’s dead. What kind of freak wants a dead dog for a pet?” He scratched his chin. “I wonder if Irae would pay for a dead dog.”

Arms shook his head. “Nah. No way. You know Blood Wolves?”

Teeth glared at him. “You know I do. You know I hate Blood Wolves. You calling me an idiot, Arms? If that’s what you’re doing, I’ll play some Kick Arms, and have a nice body to sell.”

Legs laughed, spraying saliva. “Kick Arms, Kick Arms, I like to play it.”

Arms picked his nose. “I ain’t calling you nothing. Cool it, Teeth. But Blood Wolves, you see, they’ve been bringing dead dogs, and horses, and what not. I hear the soldiers speak of it. Even brought a whole dead griffin, they did, Sun God knows how they dragged it. Worth coppers at best, the dogs. A griffin might fetch gold, maybe, but not dogs and horses and all that rubbish. He needs limbs most, human limbs. Heads too. Men, you know. With brains and what not. That’s how you make mimics, not dogs.” He snatched the dead dog from the girl and tossed it. It flew over a pile of bricks, and the girl ran weeping to find it.

Teeth knew that Arms was right. Sometimes he saw mimics with animal parts—a horse’s hoof here, a dog’s head there—but they were rare. Human bodies were what the Rot Gang specialized in, but pickings were slim lately, other gangs were growing, and their pockets were light. Teeth knew it was a matter of time before they’d have to stop hunting bodies… and start making bodies.

But who could he kill? The urchins were too small, mere children with frail limbs; Dies Irae wouldn’t pay much for them. And it seemed everybody else in this city had joined larger gangs, arming themselves with daggers, clubs, even swords. And I only have one knife, an apelike oaf, and a skinny giant who’d piss himself in a fight sooner than kill a man.

“All right, let’s go, north quarter today. Lots of ruins there. Bodies underneath them, rotting maybe, but they’ll still fetch some coin, good bronze too.”

They continued through the winding streets, passing by fallen forts, crushed hovels, and cracked statues of Dies Irae. Old blood stained the cobblestones. The ash of nightshades, and the fire of dragons, had blackened the ruins. Teeth remembered the battle, not a moon ago. The five dragons had swooped upon the city, blowing fire. Benedictus the Black had led them, and he led griffins too. Nightshades had fought them, and Teeth had never seen so much fire and blood; it rained from the sky. The next day, as men lay rotting in the streets, Teeth had begun to collect.

Finally they reached the smaller, northern quarters, where there were barely streets anymore, merely piles of bricks and wood.

“Dig,” Teeth barked at the other boys.

They climbed onto the piles of debris and began rummaging. Wind moaned around them, smelling of rot. Teeth cursed as he worked. If there were no bodies left in the city, there was no money either. He’d have to escape into the countryside like so many others.

I could become an outlaw… live in the forests, hunt travellers, grab plump peasant girls when I can find them.  That didn’t sound too bad, but Teeth knew little about the forest; he had spent his life on these streets.

I could join the Earthen too, if they’re real, he thought. Folks whispered about the Earthen sometimes—wild Earth God followers who lived in caves. Some said they were building weapons, preparing for a strike against Dies Irae, the man who had toppled their temples and banned their faith. But Teeth didn’t care much for gods or holy wars, no more than he cared for the wilderness. This city is a cesspool, but it’s all I know.

The smell of decay hit his nostrils with a burst, so strong he nearly fell over. Teeth spat, dizzy. He pulled aside two bricks and saw a rotting head. He pulled it up by the hair; it came loose from its body. The head was pulsing with maggots, so bloated it looked like a leather sack. Teeth tossed it aside in disgust, and it burst.

“Bah!  These bodies are useless now.” He clenched his fists. “They’re too old, too swollen, no good for anyone anymore. How would Irae sew these together? You just look at them, and they fall apart. Nothing left of them but rot.”

Behind him, Arms brayed a laugh. “I tolds you, Teeth. I tolds you. We need to bring animals, dogs and what not, and those little girls maybe, they have teeth that can bite.”

Teeth growled.  He marched across the pile of bricks and grabbed Arms’s collar. “Dogs?  Little girls? I want silver, Arms. Gold if we can get it. Not copper pennies. I’m not a beggar like the Blood Wolves.”

Arms stared, eyes burning. “I should join the Blood Wolves, I should. Look at you.  This is your gang? A group of freaks. You with your dog teeth, and Legs with those stilts of his. It’s pathetic, it is.”

Legs guffawed and drooled. “Dog teeth, dog teeth! I like to see them.”

Teeth growled, drew a knife from his belt, and held it at Arms’s throat. Arms stiffened, and his eyes shot daggers.

“You don’t like it here?” Teeth hissed. His stomach churned, and rage nearly blinded him. His hands shook, and his heart pounded. “You want to join the Blood Wolves?”

Arms snarled, the knife at his neck.

“Yes,” he hissed.

Teeth swiped the knife across his throat. Blood spurted. For an instant, Arms seemed not to notice. He merely stared, eyes narrowed. Then he grabbed his throat, trying in vain to stop the blood. He fell to his knees, and suddenly he was weeping, and trying to speak, trying to breathe, but he could do neither.

Teeth stared down at him. “There’s your blood, Arms. Blood’s what you wanted.  Blood’s what you got. And I got my body. A body with nice long arms.”

He could have given Arms a better death. He could have finished the job—stabbed him in the heart, or bashed in his head. But Teeth wanted to watch. He stood over the thrashing boy, until Arms merely twitched, stared up with pleading eyes, then gurgled and lay limp. For several moments he merely whimpered and his eyelids fluttered. And then Teeth had his body for the day.

The wind moaned as Teeth and Legs carried the body through the rubble. It cut through Teeth’s clothes and pierced his skin. The blood was sticky on his fingers. The sun was setting when they saw Flammis Palace ahead. Two of its towers had collapsed, and several walls had crumbled. It wasn’t much better off than the rest of the city, but Dies Irae still ruled there. His banners, white and gold, thudded atop the remaining towers. His guards covered the standing walls, bows in hands.

Teeth and Legs approached the front gates. The bricks were blackened from fire, and the doors were charred. The dragons had breathed most of their fire here when storming the palace. Guards stood at the gateway, clad in plate armor, swords in hands. Their skin looked sallow, and sacks hung beneath their bloodshot eyes. There wasn’t much food in Confutatis anymore, and folk whispered that some of the guards had taken to eating the bodies. The stench of rot hung heavy here.

“New body for the Commander,” Teeth told the guards. “Fresh, this one.”

Legs nodded, holding Arms’s other end. “Fresh, fresh! We like them that way.  Yes sir we do.”

The guards grunted. “All right, boys. Looks better than your last catch. In you go.”

Teeth tugged the body, moving past the broken doors. Legs followed. They stepped into a hallway, its northern wall fallen. Bloodstains covered the floor and ash coated the ceiling. One column was smashed and stained red. Teeth knew the way. Hoisting the body, he turned left into a stairwell. The stairs wound into shadows. Torches lined the walls, but most were unlit. Teeth and Legs delved into the dungeons of Flammis Palace, the stairway leading them down and down into the cold and darkness. The palace was twice as deep as it was tall, and Teeth climbed down to its deepest chambers.

Screams, creaks, and squeals echoed through the tunnels. A man laughed. A saw grinded. Screeches rose and fell.

Teeth and Legs walked down a hallway, its floor sticky with blood, and entered a towering chamber. Torches lined the walls, flickering against rows of tables. Body parts covered the tabletops. Rows of legs covered one table, arms another, heads a third. A pile of torsos rotted in the corner. Uncarved bodies hung on walls and filled wheelbarrows.

Dies Irae stood at the back of the room.

Teeth froze. On previous visits, he had met underlings, not the Commander himself.  He had not expected to meet Dies Irae here. Once emperor of a mighty realm, Dies Irae now ruled a wasteland of desolation, death, and disease. His skin was grey. Blood stained his clothes. He stood by a table, hunching over a rotten torso. Sleeves rolled back, he was gutting it.

Teeth cleared his throat, blinked, and tried to quell the shake that found his knees.

“Commander,” he said. “We brought you a body. A fresh one, my lord.”

Legs brayed. “Fresh, fresh, that’s how we like them, yes sir we do.”

Dies Irae looked up from his work. His one eye blazed blue. A patch covered his other eye. Teeth knew the story. Benedictus the weredragon had taken that eye from him, as he had taken Dies Irae’s left arm; a steel arm grew there now, its fist a spiked mace head.

“A fresh one?” Dies Irae asked. His voice was hoarse. Wrinkles creased his brow. “Yes. Yes, very fresh.”

Teeth and Legs placed the body on a table. Teeth stifled a cough, struggling not to gag from the chamber’s stench. Maggots were crawling on some of the bodies.  Worms filled others.

“A fresh body, and look at its arms,” Teeth said. “Look at how long they are, my lord. Long and strong, like an ape’s. This one’s worth two silver coins, one per arm at least, my lord. A good body. Strong and fresh.”

Dies Irae examined the dead body, furrowed his brow, and touched those long arms.  He smiled, his lips twisting like worms. “Yes. Yes, strong.  Fresh.”

Teeth didn’t like this. He wanted to leave. On previous visits, underlings would examine his finds, mutter, and pay. But Dies Irae seemed… too quiet, lost in his own worlds. Teeth noticed that specks of blood covered the man’s lips. He shivered. Had Dies Irae been eating the bodies?

“My lord?” he said. There were bite marks on the body, he saw. Now Teeth definitely wanted to flee. “My lord, two silvers would be our price, if it please you. We’ll find you more bodies. We’re the Rot Gang.”

Dies Irae walked around the table and approached him. He was tall, Teeth saw. Not as tall as Legs, maybe, but heavier, all muscle and grit. Dies Irae stared at him with his good eye.

“Those are good teeth you have there,” he said. He licked his lips, smearing blood across them. “Sharp. I bet they can just… bite into somebody.” He snapped his own teeth, as if to demonstrate. “I could use teeth like that.”

Beside them, Legs guffawed. “Dog teeth, dog teeth, I like to see them. Yes sir I do.”

Dies Irae turned to face him, as if seeing Legs for the first time. “Well, young man, aren’t you a tall one. Look at those legs you’ve got there. I bet they could just….” Dies Irae stamped his feet. “Run! Run like the wind, I bet they can.”

Legs brayed. “They run, Legs they call me, yes sir they do.”

This was all wrong. Teeth found that he no longer cared about the coins.

“My lord, if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be on our way,” he said. He turned to face the doorway.

A mimic stood there. Not a dead body, but an animated thing, patched together, sewn from the strongest parts. A creature with worms for hair, claws on its fingers, and death in its eyes. It blocked the doorway, grinning. Insects bustled in its mouth, and its eyes blazed red.

“They are strong,” Dies Irae said. “They are made from the best. The best parts. I build them myself.”

He swung his mace at Legs.

It hit the boy’s head, crushing it.

As Legs collapsed, Teeth ran to the wall and grabbed a torch. He held it before him as a weapon.

“Don’t touch me, old man!” he warned, waving the torch.

Dies Irae’s lips curled back; Teeth couldn’t decide if it was a snarl or a grin.

“But I will touch you,” he said. “I will make you stronger. I will give you the right parts.”

Teeth lashed his torch.

Dies Irae sidestepped.

The mace swung.

Pain exploded against Teeth’s chest. The mace swung and again hit his chest. His ribs snapped. He couldn’t breathe. Blood filled his mouth.

He fell to his knees. The last thing he saw was Dies Irae grinning, and the mace swung again.

Light exploded. Blood and pain flowed across him… and faded. He knew nothing more.

 

Who is Daniel?

 

Born in 1980, Daniel Arenson is an author of fantasy fiction, from epic to dark and surreal.

He began his career writing short stories. He sold his first story, “Worms Believe in God”, in 1998. Since then, dozens of his stories and poems have appeared in various magazines, among them Flesh & Blood, Chizine, and Orson Scott Card’s Strong Verse.

Five Star Publishing, an imprint of Gale, published Arenson’s fantasy novel Firefly Island in 2007. Since then, he’s written the fantasy novels The Gods of Dream, Flaming Dove, Eye of the Wizard, and Blood of Requiem.

Click Daniel’s shiny mug to visit his website!

 

Click the link to read my previous reviews of Daniel’s work. “Eye of the Wizard” “Flaming Dove” “Firefly Island

 

Still Not Sure?

If you still need more convincing here you go… more excerpts!

The Gods of Dream

Flaming Dove

Firefly Island

Blood of Requiem (Book 1)

Tears of Requiem (Book 2)

 

 

Recycled Book Sculptures

November 30th, 2011

Since I was exceptionally drab in this mornings book review I thought I would also post something to make up for it.  About a year ago I discovered Su Blackwell, recycled book sculptor extraordinaire, and though I am very anti-damage when it comes to books, I couldn’t help but fall instantly in love with her work. So… I thought I would share with you just a few of her brilliant pieces.

(You can see her entire gallery at her website HERE)

 

Book Sculptures by Su Blackwell

click images to see full size

Book Club Part Deux!

November 1st, 2011

So…it’s been decided.  After a much needed (on my part) hiatus (and a conversation with my very good friend JC Phelps) I have decided to fire up the book club again. (Yeah!) For those of you that were hung out to dry a few months ago, I am sooooo very sorry.  I was WAY to busy to dedicate the time needed for it, and my volunteer moderators, well…I have no idea what happened. (*sigh*) Anyways, now that I have more free time I feel I am up to the task.

What does this mean?

Well first…. Click on the “Book Club” tab at the top of the screen for more details.  Second, find a book you want to read and make a suggestion on the club page.

We will be starting a new book in a few weeks, (after we vote of course) and then we are off. (Reading that is.)  I will post questions, (as I read) and of course…encourage you to do the same.  So get your tushies moving and lets find something to gripe about!

–Misty–

Are Book Covers Art?

October 21st, 2011

Good Morning!

So…I was reading an article the other day that was talking about the “new-age artist” (I’ll try to find the article again and post it…) Basically it said that as a whole, our society doesn’t appreciate art they way it used to. (#1. I think that is bullshit, I could spend HOURS in the MET and not bat an eye.) Anyways, Mr. McNegativity then went on to criticize what he thought was a horrible trend in modern day art.

Book Covers.

Long story short he said that artists that could really “make” something out of themselves are wasting their time designing emotionless slub for the masses instead of putting their ideas down on a canvas where it should be.

Dear Sir… You are an idiot.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could spend hours doing nothing but looking at book covers, AND as a person who has designed book covers, I love having my work out their for a WIDE audience…not just they 100 or so tourist that decide to visit a SOHO hot-spot.

So…to the man who very clearly has his head stuck up his (((censored))) I pose this question:

 

How in the HELL can these not be considered art?

 Click images to get a better look

 

How about you…

Do you think book covers are art?

Oohh La Laaaa! 3 Bookstores To Die For!

October 20th, 2011

Morning Kindle-ites!!

I will have a review up later, but I thought I would share some really cool pictures with you first.  This morning I was updating my bucket list (don’t judge me) and found several kick-ass bookstores that I now want to live in.  Since I thought they were awe-worthy I thought you might as well. So enjoy the view and happy reading!

- Misty

The Photos are in order by ROW. For example: Row 1 (across) is El Ateneo. Click any of the images for a larger view!

 

 

 3 Bookstores To Die For!


 

1.  El Ateneo in Buenos Aires

Bueno Aires’s Librería El Ateneo Grand Splendid used to be a beautiful movie palace. Saved from the wrecker’s ball, it is now one of the most majestic bookstores in the world.

El Ateneo Grand Splendid in downtown Buenos Aires is a spectacular bookstore that retains all the glamour of its former life as a 1920s movie palace, with a original balconies, painted ceiling, ornate carvings and crimson stage curtains.

 

2.  The Lello Bookstore in Porto, Portugal

 Opened in 1906 and often described as the most beautiful bookstore in the world, this is somewhere not to be missed. Designed by Xavier Esteves in turn of the century Art Nouveau style, the façade creates an immediate impression with its two painted figures representing Art and Science and its neo gothic design. Inside, the curved red staircase, the magnificent stained-glass skylight, with Lello’s motto ‘vecus in labore’, the bronze Portuguese literary figures on the columns and the beautifully decorated walls and ceilings, all create a stunning effect. The small café on the second floor is an unexpected delight.

 

3.  The Selexyz Bookstore in Maastricht, Holland

This bookstore is actually inside of an old Dominican church!

The ground floor gives room to several different book displays, information desks, magazine-stands and cash registers, all made of standard sheet materials in different colours and surfaces. The former altar now houses the ‘Coffee lovers’ café with a large central reading table shaped as a cross.

 

KindleObsessed Turns 2!!!

August 22nd, 2011

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GOOD MORNING KINDLE-ITES!!!!

Today is a very exciting day for me (and hopefully you too) because KindleObsessed officially turns 2 (*throws confetti in the air*) Now, last year I went on and on about all of KO’s accomplishments, but this year I think I’m going to pass on the logistics and get right down to business. I mean… you don’t really care how many countries read KO right? (*cough* 147) Or that I’m practically a damn superstar in Uzbekistan. I didn’t think so. So I’m just gonna skip all that mumbo jumbo and get to the goodies!!!

One of the best things about KO is getting to find new (sometimes wonderful, sometimes crappy) books and share them with y’all. So I’ve decided, (for my 2 year Blogiversary,) to be a little more literal in my sharing. (AKA I’m going to start giving shit away.) *cues applause*

Here is what you need to do. Below (which I’m sure you have already seen) are the prize packs. All of these books are for Kindle and all of them are up for grabs. Just leave a comment below telling me #1 Why you love to read. #2 Which 2 prize packs you would love to get your hands on and #3 A way to get a hold of you (twitter handle, Facebook handle, email address.. I don’t care. But leave me SOMETHING)

I will announce the winners NEXT Sunday (28th)

I think that pretty much covers it, Happy perusing! :)

Much Love, – Misty

 

 

A Piece of the King Prize Pack!

 

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Prize Pack Includes Everything (fiction) King as written under his “real” name (Lets just say it’s an ass load of books)

Stephen Edwin King is an American author of contemporary horror, suspense, science fiction and fantasy fiction. His books have sold more than 350 million copies, which have been adapted into a number of feature films, television movies and comic books. As of 2011, King has written and published 49 novels, including seven under the pen name Richard Bachman, five non-fiction books, and nine collections of short stories. Many of his stories are set in his home state of Maine.

King has received Bram Stoker Awards, World Fantasy Awards, British Fantasy Society Awards, his novella The Way Station was a Nebula Award novelette nominee, and in 2003, the National Book Foundation awarded him the Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters.

 

Going Rogue Prize Pack!

 

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Prize Pack Includes Books 1-26

Rogue Angel is a paper back series of novels published bi-monthly since July 2006 by Harlequin Publishing’s Gold Eagle division and written under the house name of Alex Archer. (Actual authors are credited with small notes inside the books) The main character is Annja Creed. Each novel offers an adventure based on history or mythology, with a heavy fantasy slant

Although these books can be read individually in any order as discrete adventures, it is actually better to read them in order as there is some continuity within the character development and sub-plots.

Usually Annja’s adventures revolve around an artifact that falls into her hands temporarily before being taken by the villains or a third party that might or might not prove to be evil. Or she might take up the trail of an artifact that was lost in history or only thought of as a legend.

The trail progresses quickly as Annja risks more and more to reach her prize. Along the way she learns more about historical periods and the people who lived in them. She also becomes more knowledgeable about the sword and it’s bond to her as time progress.

 

I Need More Drama in My Life Prize Pack!

 

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Prize Pack Inludes: No Country for Old Men, All The Pretty Horses, Blood Meredian, The Road and The Crossing.

Cormac McCarthy  is an American novelist and playwright. He has written ten novels, spanning the Southern Gothic, Western, and modernist genres. He has also written plays and screenplays. He received the Pulitzer Prize and the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for Fiction for The Road. His 2005 novel No Country for Old Men was adapted as a 2007 film of the same name, which won four Academy Awards, including Best Picture. He received a National Book Award and National Book Critics Circle Award for his 1992 novel, All the Pretty Horses.

 

  

 Walking Through Wardrobes Prize Pack!

 

Pack includes ALL 7 books in the series!! 

The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis, is one of the very few sets of books that should be read three times: in childhood, early adulthood, and late in life. In brief, four children travel repeatedly to a world in which they are far more than mere children and everything is far more than it seems. Richly told, populated with fascinating characters, perfectly realized in detail of world and pacing of plot, the story is infused throughout with the timeless issues of good and evil, faith and hope. This edition includes all seven volumes

 

 

The Science Geeks Prize Pack!

 

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Prize Pack Includes:  Boneshaker, Ganymede, and Dreadnought

Priest’s published writing style thus far falls into the Southern Gothic genre as well as the Horror genre. She has also written a number of short stories, most of which can be categorized as Horror or Science fiction. Priest has expanded her style to include the burgeoning genre of Steampunk which can be best described as a fantastical alternate history or Neo-Victorian often involving modern technology powered by nineteenth century means. Priest has developed a large fan following

 

 

 

This is Going to be EPIC Prize Pack! 

 

20110822-115432.jpg Prize Pack Includes ALL 3 books in the Broze Horeseman Trilogy

 

The Bronze Horseman is the first book in the Bronze Horseman Trilogy by Paullina Simons.

The book begins on the 22 June 1941, the day Russia enters the Second World War after Operation Barbarossa. Tatiana Metanova, young and innocent has no idea that from this day on, her life will never be the same. Not only will the war change her path, but also meeting the handsome and mysterious Red army officer Alexander Belov.[1] The relationship between Tatiana and Alexander develops against the backdrop of the Siege of Leningrad and in the face of many difficulties.

 

 

The Human Slurpie Prize Pack!

 

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Schizophrenic Hodgepodge Prize Pack!

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Sample Sunday Vol. 6

July 17th, 2011

Not sure what to read next? Afraid that your gonna spend money on something you want to chunk in a fire pit? Well, how about you take it for a spin first! Here are just a few (of the many) samples out there that allow you to read before you buy! Enjoy!

 

 

Fall by David Scott Hay (Contemporary Fantasy) Click Here to Enjoy

Dead Locked by Amy Saunders (Mystery) Click Here to Enjoy

All For One by Ryne Douglas Pearson (Psychological Thriller) Click Here to Enjoy

One Wild Night by Amelia James (Romance) Click Here to Enjoy

The Vision by S.K. Epperson (Gothic Horror) Click Here to Enjoy

Setting Boundaries by Valerie Douglas (Fantasy/Mystery) Click Here to Enjoy

Red Carpet Dreams by Danielle Benson (Contemporary Fiction) Click Here to Enjoy

In Search of Lucy by Lia Fairchild (Family/Relationship Drama) Click Here to Enjoy

A Secret Desire by C.J Archer (Historical Romance) Click Here to Enjoy

Absolute Liability by J.W. Becton (Thriller) Click Here to Enjoy

The King of Terrors by Brendan Carroll (Templar Fiction) Click Here to Enjoy

The Perfect Plan by Ty Hutchinson (Thriller) Click Here to Enjoy

Shero by Jack Wallen (Contemporary Fantasy) Click Here to Enjoy

Midnight Eyes by Sidney Williams (Thriller) Click Here to Enjoy

The Dream by Maria Savva (Paranormal/Time Travel) Click Here to Enjoy

A Dose of Reality by Heidi Hall (Romantic Suspense) Click Here to Enjoy

Return of The Golden Age by Marilyn Peake (Children’s Fantasy) Click Here to Enjoy

Rumpel by Eileen Cruz Coleman (Re-Worked Classics/Horror) Click Here to Enjoy

Keeping The Pace by Dee Carney (Contemporary Fiction) Click Here to Enjoy

Perfect Fudge by Hazel Larson (YA) Click Here to Enjoy

The Comings & Goings!

June 2nd, 2011

 

Afternoon Kindle-ites!!!

Well…the time has come.  While I hate leaving y’all, the state of my brain (and it’s ability to properly function) insists that I go on hiatus. Now, before you get too caught up in the throws of a (though endearing) slightly melodramatic panic, let me assure you that it is not a long one.  As a matter of fact I think calling it a “hiatus” is a little misleading, it’s more of a “mini-break.” (I’ll be out only for the month of June) *sigh*
 
Anyways…though I will be gone, I felt ill at the thought of leaving all of you hanging, so…in a moment I like to refer to as “Pure freaking genius!” I reached out to my fellow bloggers, author buddies and friends (that for some reason haven’t put me on their blocked call list yet,) and asked for help. Thankfully… I haven’t pissed any of them off enough yet, so they agreed! So what does that mean? Well, it means that for the month of June, KO will be a whirl wind of reviews, guest blogs, and articles sure to make you laugh, cry, or throw shit at your computer. Fun right? 
 
All I ask of you (my lovely dedicated readers) is that you be sure to leave them some love (or the next time I decide to lose my mind they may not be so willing to pick up my broken pieces.)
 
Till July… have fun & more importantly… HAPPY READING!
 
 :-) Misty
 
P.S. – I will still do a freebies post each Saturday and the new releases each Tuesday.  Give me some credit… I’m not that damn heartless!
 

Food For Thought – Guest Blog by Alexis Bonari

May 9th, 2011

 

Will Competition from iPad and Tablet PC’s Drive Kindle to Go Free?

Certainly we are on the verge of a tablet PC revolution, and it’s already threatening the bustling Kindle market. New screen technologies that bridge the gap between E-paper and LCD displays, along with the inherent multi-functionality of these devices threaten to dethrone the Kindle as current king of e-readers. Amazon’s recent announcement of a discounted Kindle model, although with advertisements splashing the home page, is a direct response to the tablet PC market. We’ve seen this kind of trend before, both in conventional publications and on the internet, so is this a good move on Amazon’s part, or evidence of a dying market?

Ad revenues drive a lot of the publishing world, both online and in print. A major difference between an embedded device like Kindle and these other markets is that people are used to seeing advertisements on web pages and in magazines. They are not however, used to seeing advertisements in books. I can already see the shocked looks on peoples’ faces as they are presented with Viagra ads while reading a romance novel. Well, it’ll probably never get that out of hand, but still, you’re already paying for the book, whose really going to want advertisements to come with it? Of course they aren’t taking it quite that far yet, but the small amount of advertising they are doing also reflects in the price savings, a mere $25.

Considering the hard sell of advertisements, we might see Kindle take another route, the loss leader. Like printers and video game consoles we might see reductions in price in the Kindle hardware to the point where they’re actually losing money selling it, and then make up for it with a rise in the price of the e-books. There is a flaw in this strategy as well, Amazon currently dominates the e-book market, but that might not be the case for long if they increase the cost of their e-books.

More likely than not Amazon will utilize a combination of these two strategies, since going overboard with either one will likely hurt their business. Another mistake a lot of people seem to be making is underestimating why people by a Kindle to begin with. E-books are hardly a new concept, and there are plenty of public domain books you can even download to your computer for free, so why are people willing to dish out money for these? Because they’re simple to use and convenient.

They’re meant to cater to a relatively less technical crowd that doesn’t want the hassle of dealing with a laptop or other multifunction system. Reading through criticisms of Kindle, I constantly run across people denouncing it for its lack of features, such as availability of apps, multiple fonts, etc. I doubt we’ll see Amazon take this direction in Kindle’s development for 2 reasons, because adding complexity to the device will distance it from its core demographic, and second because they want to make it cheaper, not more expensive.

So is Amazon ready to start handing out these babies for free? I don’t think so. They might hand them out for free to certain customers, but I don’t see it happening en masse. More likely what we’ll see are incremental reductions in price along with more advertisements and higher prices on e-books. Likely, most of the back catalogue of e-books will remain unchanged, with the newest best sellers coming up just a tad. Although the iPads will take away some of Kindle’s business, it will be the technologically savvy early adaptation crowd that they grab, and not the people solely interested in convenience and ease of use. I think the Kindle has a lot of life left in it, and not only will it continue to dominate the e-reader market, but it won’t go for free either.

 

20110509-120817.jpgAlexis Bonari is a freelance writer and researcher for College Scholarships, where recently she’s been researching graphics design scholarships as well as gymnastic scholarships. Whenever she gets some free time, she enjoys watching a funny movie or curling up with a good book.

Story Time

April 14th, 2011

Afternoon Kindle-ites. Yes, I plan on posting a review tonight, but I just finished writing this little ditty and thought.. “What the hell. Post them both.” So… here it is, another Misty original. (Let the bashing begin.)

 

 

20110414-030412.jpgStreams Of Words

     The color was always the same, crimson red, but that was not what mattered. The feeling that the little splash of red produced was what mattered. Relief. Like a bottle of soda that has been sitting in the sun for too long and is aching to be opened before it explodes. She didn’t care that she was making a mess; streaking her clothes and the already dirty tile floor with blood, those were just details; issues that could be dealt with when the time came, but for now…the only task at hand was to release the words that were trapped inside of her veins… pumping steady strings of negativity and pain towards her brain.

     “You are worthless! Why do I even bother.”

     When she was little her mother had very diligently taught her that “sticks and stones could break her bones, but words could never hurt her.” Unfortunately that wasn’t how life worked. In reality words were much more damaging than a damn bruise would ever be. Words had a way of weaving their way inside of you, festering until you could actually smell the stink of them radiating off of your skin. A broken arm or a bruised jaw? Surfaces grazes…things that could be easily tended to by a doctor.

     The first time she panicked she had been 14, a child. Susanna Beecham, of the “we-have-more-money-than-God” Beecham’s, decided to point out just how pathetic she actually was.

     “You are ugly… did you know that? I mean… not average ugly, that could be tolerated, YOU are ogre worthy, and…” because obviously that wasn’t enough, “You smell like my dog pissed on you. Do us a favor and quit taking showers in your toilet.”

     Yep, that was all it took. The next thing she knew she was huddled in the AV closet running a broken slide reel back and forth across her forearm. She had absolutely zero idea what she was doing, all she knew was that it felt better. At first, the pain gave her something else to focus on, but then it morphed into something else entirely. The answer.

     For years she had been forced to hold all of her emotional baggage inside, but this… this habit she instinctively knew was sick and wrong, allowed her to let go of it. She could actually see the words as they flowed out of her, each drip adding something new to the pile of misery that was puddling on the floor.

     “Loser”… Drip.
     “Waste”… Drip.
     “Hideous”… Drip.

     The beauty of it all was that no one seemed to notice. Not that they seemed to notice her anyways, but one long sleeved shirt and poof, the evidence was gone.

     “Um… hello?”

     Joey jumped.

     When had someone else come in the room? God… she had always been so careful, letting her guard down was a no-no. She looked around desperately for the lime green hoodie she had drug into the corner with her.

     “Joey… Are you in here?”

     Maybe if she was really quiet he would just go away. She knew exactly who it was. That scrawny audio visual kid… Paul.. Saul… whatever, his name was not the issue. This was a disaster. Under no circumstance would her current position look normal. She was holding a razor blade for fuck sake, that alone would be a cause for concern, not adding in the stark red blotches of human life that surrounded her like mine fields.

     She heard her name called one more time before she saw his face, freckle covered and pale from lack of sun, peek around the corner.

     “Joey…”

     He looked down.

     Immediately she rose, hoping that the movement would distract him from the scene he was witnessing, but the surprise, and then disgust, that registered in his eyes was unmistakable.

     “What are you doing?” he asked, his mouth agape, clearly shocked from what he was seeing.
     “Nothing… go away.”
     “What do you mean nothing… it looks like a damn massacre in here.” He looked down, moving his foot slightly to the left to avoid getting blood on the bottom of his shoe.
     “I… I was just looking for something, shit… quit staring at me.” She grabbed her bag, that had somehow mysteriously made it’s way to the middle of the room, and started to walk off. All she needed was time. If she could get away, clean herself up and then avoid Paul/Saul for a few days this whole “thing” would just disappear. Lose shape and then drift off into a string of never-ending tomorrows.

     “Wait, where are you going?” he asked, taking a timid stepping closer to her, and then gently retrieving her bag from her shoulder, only to immediately turn around and chunk it a good 10 feet from where they were currently standing. “You are hurt, let me help you.”
     “I’m fine,” she said, though her mind was setting off sirens even a deaf person couldn’t help but hear.
     ”You are very clearly, not fine, sit down.”

     Like one of those saps in the movies her mother loved to watch so much, he moved beside her and pulled out one of the rooms excruciatingly uncomfortable plastic chairs. Sensing that a battle would be eminent if she refused she did as she was told. Reluctant, but attentive to the directions she was being supplied.

     “Ok, I’m sitting. Now what.”

     The boy she vaguely knew only stared.

     “No.. seriously…what are you going to do… fix me?” Her words, though delivered with a heavy helping of sarcasm, were laced with the truth. The only truth to have passed her lips for years, on purpose or by pure accident she was unclear.

     For a second she saw recognition flash across his face, and then it was gone; replaced by a sadness that seemed to make the air in the room become thick and stale.

     “Yes” he said, reaching a hand across the table to push a piece of her matted black hair behind her ear.

     Joey’s head shot up, her eyes locking on the figure in front of her, and for the first time seeing the tiny lines of a boy who had seen too much.

     “I’m going to help you clean up your words, and then… I’m going to teach you some new ones.”

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